moments

May 8—we were about to watch my sister and her band perform. It was Sunday. She wanted mom to see her perform on their so-called gigs. She introduced him to me. He looked familiar. I wanted to start a conversation with him; that way, I just might confirm if it was the “him” I knew. He looked very familiar. He was quiet and a bit snobbish; mysterious in his own way, and he was not quite of a gentleman (he did not offer me a seat). I was observing him at a close range. I had an opportunity to laugh with him when I teased him as he stares over some lady whom he refer to be “daring”. It was quite a laugh. Luckily, I did not know how it started, we found ourselves conversing. I asked him questions and he answered eagerly. He told me his name and I knew it was him. I just did not have the heart to ask. I was amazed because the conversation went smoothly and the topics were interesting. It was quite a long night, and we continued chatting on the way home.

Days passed and thanks to facebook, we interacted again. It was a “serious” chat and we exchanged numbers. I don’t remember exchanging messages though but we communicated.

On a weekend, we went to see a movie—THOR. The script was great and we had a good laugh. I feel happy whenever he’s around. We had dinner and it was quite a night. He’s a busy person. His schedule is filled with trips. I wanted to spend time with him again and he felt the same.

On a Friday night, he took me out for a dinner and we talked about random things. I don’t know how or why but when I am with him, I am happy and stress leaves my system. He told me his plans--he wanted to be free from commitments. I smiled because I had the same principle. It's not like we don't want to have partners, it's more like we don't want to feel leashed by rules. He went on talking bout his dreams and I am hypnotized by his very presence. Just being with him made me feel safe and comforted.

Here's a confession:

He's my high school crush. He had his unique style back then and it interest me. He played the guitars so well and he looked smart. See, for him, I was a stranger. I am but a kid. I watch him pass by the hallways and laugh with his friends. I see him flirt with ladies and make a dork out of himself. I did not stalk on him, I just happen to be where he is.

I never imagined meeting him in person...I mean, getting to be with him. He loves pretty ladies and I know I cannot make it in the cut. Someday, I fear, I might be a stranger for him once again. That's why I cherish every moment we spend together. If he leaves, I have memories to keep and moments to cherish...

I wanted to tell him really...but I guess I should keep it to myself. He's in a relationship and he's happy--I guess.

Maybe I should be thankful that I get to spend some time with him though it's a struggle... I like him a lot. Being with him takes me back to HS days. That smile... addictive. Those lips... I am missing him...badly.

I don't wan't to get hurt...not again. I wish I could stop my emotions but I can't. They draw me closer to him.



**random thoughts fill my mind... I go crazy... I am fine...sorry***