Family Time

For the Lord honored the father above the children,

 and he confirmed the right of the mother over her sons.

Whoever honors his father atones for sins,

 and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure.

Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own children, 

and when he prays he will be heard.

Whoever glorifies his father will have long life,

and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother;

he will serve his parents as his masters.

O son, help your father in his old age, 

and do not grieve him as long as he lives;

even if he is lacking in understanding, 

show forbearance;

in all your strength do not despise him.

For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, 

and against your sins it will be credited to you;  

Sirach 3: 2 - 7, 12 – 14

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, 

compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience,

For bearing one another and, 

if one has a complaint against another, 

forgiving each other; 

as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must 

forgive.

And above all these put on love,

 which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, 

to which indeed you were called in the one body.

 And be thankful.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly,

 teach and admonish one another in all wisdom,

 and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs 

with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

And whatever you do, in word or deed, 

do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, 

giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged

Colossians 3: 12 - 21

I have a perfect family.

John, my father, is dearest to my heart. I love him because he showed me nothing but love. I rarely see him angry. I love the way he combed my hair way back during childhood days. He is very patient; especially when handling "ME". He would carefully align my socks, so I can clearly see that they are indeed a pair (my socks should always be in line...) , he would tie my ribbon wherein the tails are also align with each other, he will carry my bag all the way to my classroom, he would carry me whenever I don't like to walk. He does household chores without complaining; he'd cook, do the dishes, do laundry, make the garden beautiful, take care of the pets, and the like. He'll do all this even if he just came from work. I love him because he never took anything against me. He loved me, no matter what. He's the only one who shows concern towards my behavior. When he sees that I am sad or whenever I talk less, he knows that I'm hiding something from him; then he'd ask me what's wrong. When I answer with a "nothing", he'd invite me to go with him in doing errands--hoping that I would somehow tell him what is wrong. I can tell him anything because he listens attentively. When he's angry, he avoids contact with me so as he can't hurt me (vebal..he never inflicted physical damage.. :]) But he would easily calm down and be happy again. My father is weak in showing his emotions, I never saw him cry...at least not in front of me. I guess that's a father's pride. He is a very strong person that he can love even if that person caused him nothing but pain. My father is a loving dad, friend, companion, and provider. He supports me in all my decisions and I respect his advices because I know it is for my own good.

Lynne, my mother, is an extraordinary person. She was more of a friend than an ordinary mom. I can't say a lot about her because I feel like she's a different person now. My happiest memory with her is when she'll play a role of a monster who tickles people to death. She would call us to help her hang the clothes to dry, then she plays with the hose and splashes water on us. My mom is a nurse. I guess she loved me too. She was the witness to our undying quarrels. She would let us do what we want. She sleeps on the sofa, not with my dad. we sleep with her in the sala because the rooms are untidy. She would meet us in school and then we'd go home together. I know she had a hard time taking good care of us when my dad was working abroad. She played it cool; my classmates would often wish they had a mother like her. Well, they should be careful in making wishes. :))   my mother left for abroad when the family separated seven years ago. She gave me pain that I dread going home to avoid seeing what I cannot bear to see. I went home late and sometimes I stay over a friend's house. I have 3 younger siblings and I never played the role of a big sister to them. I guess I don't know how to act like one--or rather, I was not given a proper example. My mother then was young at heart, with the freedom she had, she took liberty to do what she wanted to do. I was against her plan for leaving, yet we need to gain financial stability. She left  and assured us that we will be her strength and she's doing this sacrifice for US (her children). How easy can she forget. On that other side of the world, lives my mother. And I am sad, for I can't tell or speak beautifully of her. I am trying though. I caused her so much pain with the attitude I have. I tell her what I want to tell her, and sometimes I do evil things just to get back at her. I rebel against her so that she can see me...that I am doing this because I hate what she is doing...yet she is blind, deaf--as always. as always... I want to write beautiful thoughts about her, but I fear that hatred covers my heart. She abandoned me... As the light of our home, she divided us...and for sure, she would blame it all on someone. She always knows who to blame--never her.... never her...

Vinz, my elder brother. I envy his friends because they feel him. He's a sweet brother to them, this is what I observed in his social networks. At times, I wonder how he could be so sweet to others and comes home with a serious face. He rarely spends time with us to talk. Often, I find myself in an argument with him. I wish I could write more about him though... My brother is a kid at heart. One of the special moments we have with him is when we play with toys, he's good in making stories. :)  I know less of him, I guess I only know his name, age, and birthday. I do not know his favorite color, likes, dislikes, crushes, trips, etc.  I don't even know if he has his special someone already. My brother keeps things only to himself. 

Deet, my sister, is a bipolar person (JOKE!!!). She is a very sensitive person. I know her to be the most courageous person in our family. She can survive staying in a place far from us. I am proud that she never came home pregnant or under the influence of drugs. She can work for a living and starve to death... hahahaha... kidding aside, she can do things. She is talented--a singer. I love to make her angry. I order her around the house. I do this because I know she is kind. Even if she'll complain, she will still do as I say. And it makes me happy...seeing her "angry" at me. It gives me an opportunity to cuddle with her. Deets,as we call her, loves to eat sweets. She is a special member of the family. My dad treats her in another way wherein he can show his love to her. Deets keeps everything to herself, although I am a bit happy because she's starting to open up with me. She is very active in her community. But then, I see her struggling with her faith. Her heart is full of anger and hatred towards a dear person. She finds it hard to show love and so she struggles for peace. I love to make her angry... :))

Jill, the youngest sister. She used to be a sweet girl, and now she's a lady. She has a longterm boyfriend. Jill and I used to talk a lot. Sometimes, I cuddle with her because she is serious. (ngek!)  Jill is dearest to my mom. She finds it easy to accept them (mom and uh...) and treats them kindly. This i cannot do because I have great respect for my father. Jill is starting to talk back or do comments that pisses me off. I often pray that she'd be an instrument of peace and not division. She is closest to my mom, my mom and I (and deets) are in a shaky stage and she does nothing about it... none that I know... none that I feel. I always saw Jill as a peacemaker back then, but right now...when she is most needed, I cannot find her. Jill is a reserved person, she keeps things to herself. I hurt her at times and I know by hurting my mother, I hurt her too. Then again, I am hating her because she is failing me...I expect that she'd spread peace among us... but I can clearly see division... like my mom, I can only tell limited things about her. I like her hair, her height, her demure moves... I guess that's just about it... I still pray that Jill would learn how to respect once again and that she bring peace in the family. I love her still, I like to tease her. 

Jeh, is the youngest of us all. He loves to play online games. He studies at ICAS. Jerie is very close to my dad. He's the reason why my father stopped smoking. He disciplines my father. He loves animals. He is growing up now. I know things are harder for Jeremiah since he grew up with a broken family. Much as we wanted it to be normal, I am happy that Jerie turned out to be a responsible young boy. Although he hates to be ordered around, he knows how to help. His temper is quite short. He loves us all. I wish kuya would show him a bit of tenderness and love too. :)  Je lives in fear of our brother. He loves it when my father tells him stories. He loves dada and he gets angry whenever my dad calls himself "old". :))

My family is perfect.

A family is a Church--God's home.

I wish to present a beautiful home for the Lord. Yet my family is divided. I am filled with hatred towards some members of the family. I hate them  because they divide the family. Instead of helping each other attain peace, they nurture that darkness...the darkness that caused division. And my heart aches as I feel darkness covering us. I want a good home for the Lord. I planned to reconcile, yet every time I do, I see things that I hate; actions that get in my nerve, attitude that provoke my hatred. As the reading says, "do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.." I am more than discouraged. I really am. 

Honor your father and mother. I honor my father and respect him so much. How can i honor my mother? when i know her heart is not with the family anymore... She forgot about her promise that we are her treasures...she claims that we are her strength...yet she sided with her man and left me to hate her. She would prefer hating me than hating that man for hurting me. How could I serve my family when i hate the others for bringing division instead of peace? How can I prepare my home if I am filled with hatred. I tried to cast it out, yet I am surrounded with darkness. I feel alone. I love my family yet evil finds its way in us to keep us separated. My siblings don't talk much, they don't join us in mass, and the like. Our family is breaking up. I pray that I be blessed with a heart to reconcile. I pray that we be given peace. That I may honor my family and prepare a home for my God. 

My family is perfect.

Please pray for us.

con.fusion

I have been loving someone from a distance; it's been fine since I started doing so, but it was never easy. I am one with myself, I make it sure that I consult with the inner me before making decisions. 

He makes me happy, though distance comes between us, I am happy. 

He is liking someone, a dead star. I see him waiting for that star to shine again; though he denies it, not wanting for me to worry about the dead star. I am not worried about the star, I just want to know why he still hopes for a dead star to shed light once more. 

One night, I was talking to that star; "You give my friend hope...that you'd still shine. Why do you keep him from waiting...in vain?" . Then, amazingly, the star spoke to me saying "I never asked him to wait... I never told him that I'd shine again...But whenever he stares at me, it is not I who gives him hope...it is him who makes me hope that I can once again shine... I want to shine, for him... then again, I can't..." 

"Why?"

"Because he might ask me to shine forever...and I can't do that...I'm a dead star."

"But you do try to shine for him? you will shine for him? will you please shine for him.."

"I tried...I am trying...why are you asking me this favor?"

"Because I want to see him happy..."

"Well, you know for a fact that if I would shine, you might lose him... don't you?"

"Yeah, I am perfectly aware...Yet I want to know what happens next. Please."

On a cold night, He went to his spot to watch his dead star... expecting for the night to be the same as always, he still hoped that it would shine. Then, in his surprise, the star turned bright. He was happy...more than happy...He never took his eyes off the star. He was bursting with gladness. But the star's light slowly faded; until it was dead--again.

The next day, I told him about my conversation with his star.

"What if the star would shine again?" I asked, not knowing that it already did

"What if it did shine again?" he asked as he continued

"It was bright again, as though it wanted me to see it shine once again..."

My feelings gushed at random.

"So, what now?" I asked as I push back my emotions

"I don't know, I should be happy right? then again, it was bright only for a moment; the light faded..."

"So, now that you know that it can still shine, will you stand here again and wait--again?"

"I don't know... maybe... i love that star... you know that right?"

"I know."

That evening, I looked at the star with confusion.

"Why are you looking at me that way?"

"You said you're a dead star...why did you shine?"

"Well, when we had that conversation, you told me that you want to see him happy...

it made me realize that I would also want to make him happy...so.."

"You think he's happy now?" I asked rudely

"What are you angry about?" it replied

"I did warn you that you might lose him right?" the star continued

"Why did you do that? you knew I loved him"

"I loved him too." it said "... I faded though."

"Do you think by fading he'd stop liking you?" I asked in an angry tone

"You are giving him false hopes...now, he's gonna look forward to that light of yours again...."

"I can't shine again... I just want him to know that I appreciate his longing for me..."

"He still longs for you..."

"And it pains you,right?"

"I don't know" I replied in denial

Morning came. My mind is clouded by thoughts--random. 

"You're not yourself...why?" he asked.

"How's that star of yours?"

"Huh? she's fine... I guess... why?" said he

"Nothing." I answered

"I've been thinking, maybe it didn't shine for me...I mean, I think that light was for someone special... not for me... maybe she wants me to see her shine--for someone... i don't know.."

"I never thought about that..." I said to myself.

"Do you like her still? I mean that star of yours..." I asked sheepishly.

"Yes. I like her still. It is never easy to forget about her... especially since it showed me that light again... then again, that's the closest I can get..."

I was furious inside. I hated his reply. I hated that star. I regret urging that thing to shine again. Then again, my inner me reminded me of my intention--I wanted to see him happy.

So in silence, I kept the pain, disappointments, anger, and fear  to myself. 

"Don't worry about the star... it's just a star... trust me." These words he said to me. As for the star, I never talked to it again. 

Knowing that he still likes her is plain torture. Yet I cannot let my feelings show. I just can't. 

So in silence I will remain... At a distance I shall stay... From afar, I shall watch him...gaze up into the heavens... once again, looking at that star... while I secretly pray, that the star will shine no more... 

Aghast.

LISTEN.well

I want to share my favorite part of Paolo Coelho's book--THE ALCHEMIST. 

I hope that, as you read, you will come in contact with your heart and learn its language. Listen closely as it tells you its desires and dreams. Happy reading

The boy's name was SANTIAGO. 

“Why do we have to listen to our hearts?” the boy asked.

The alchemist replied “because, wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.”

“But my heart is agitated,” the boy said. “It has its dreams, it gets emotional, and it’s become passionate over a woman of the desert. It asks things of me, and it keeps me from sleeping many nights, when I’m thinking about her.”

“Well, that’s good. Your heart is alive. Keep listening to what it has to say.”

The boy’s heart began to speak of fear; at times it told the boy that it was satisfied: it had found love and riches.

“My heart is a traitor,” the boy said to the alchemist. “It doesn’t want me to go on.”

“That makes sense,” the alchemist answered. “Naturally it’s afraid that, in pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you’ve won.”

“Well, then, why should I listen to my heart?”

“Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you, repeating to you what you’re thinking about life and about the world.”

“You mean I should listen, even if it’s treasonous?”

“Treason is a blow that comes unexpectedly. If you know your heart well, it will never be able to do that to you. Because you’ll know its dreams and wishes, and will know how to deal with them.

“You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it’s better to listen to what it has to say. That way, you’ll never have to fear an unanticipated blow.”

One afternoon, the boy's heart told him that it was happy. “Even though I complain sometimes,” it said. “it’s because I’m the heart of a person, and people’s hearts are that way. People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly.”

“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse that the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”

He told his heart. “When I have been truly searching for my treasure, every day has been luminous, because I’ve known that every hour was a part of the dream that I would find it. When I have been truly searching for my treasure, I’ve discovered things along the way that I never would have seen had I not had the courage to try things that seems impossible for a shepherd to achieve.”

His heart spoke to him later that evening; telling him that all people who are happy have God within them.

“Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him.” His heart said. “We, people’s hearts, seldom say much about those treasures, because people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them only to children. Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, toward its own fate. But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out for them—the path to their Personal Legends, and to happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.

“So, we, their hearts, speak more and more softly we never stop speaking out, but we begin to hope that our words won’t be heard: we don’t want people to suffer because they don’t follow their hearts”

“Why don’t people’s heart tell them to continue to follow their dreams?” the boy asked the alchemist

“Because that’s what makes a heart suffer most, and hearts don’t like to suffer.”

The boy asked for his heart to please, never stop speaking to him.

“…before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which most people give up. It’s the point at which… one dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon.”

“…every search ends with the victor’s being severely tested.”

Remember… “the darkest hour of the night came just before the dawn.”

Life really is generous to those who pursue their Personal legend.

HENRY the CRAB

A little crab was arguing with his mother about how they walk; “Mom! Why can’t I go forward like all the other animals?”  His mother always tells him that they were made that way and then she would close the conversation by telling him to go and collect firewood. 

The little crab’s name is Henry. Henry was the youngest in the family; his siblings call him “mister-question-mark” because he always has questions stored in his mind. Henry was curious.

One day, Henry was with his friends. There was Gina (a flyer), Freya (a runner), and George (a digger). They head a SPY CENTER as they call it; since they love to go to places “undercover”.  This spy center had no other members but them; this is their way to have FUN. “Hello, fellow agents! Today we are to find the ‘hidden gem of wakalooloo’ ”, said Freya. “ It is located somewhere….” She continued; “NORTH!” shouted George. “I know… I know…” he was pleased, raising his glasses and dusting it off with a handkerchief. Freya continued telling everyone about their new adventure. However, Gina noticed the Henry was not in his participative mood. Henry was absentmindedly thinking about his argument. “Why can’t I go on forward?”his thoughts were moving like waves crashing amongst each other. And then, his consciousness came back when Gina pecked him asking if there’s something he would like to share. Henry raised his pincers and gently said “Continue.”

So they are off for the search. Gina was assigned, of course, to search through air. She would fly above them and tell them if something is up ahead of them. George, a mole, would search beneath the ground so that he can easily hear or sense threats. Frey, a bossy rat, would always take the lead while Henry would follow her from behind—side stepping. He felt useless. Freya could lead, George could track, Gina could fly, and he is worthless; he thought to himself. Freya was singing a melody she made up while they were walking. Gina wore her goggles and flew swiftly in the air, and mole was busy calculating time. Henry wished he could be like them—useful, skillful, and talented.

After hours of travel, Gina saw an obstacle for their search—an estuary. She knew they will find it hard to cross the water since they are small in sizes. So, she made her way down and gave them the warning. Before Freya stomped the ground, George already popped his head out giving the same news. Henry listened. Minutes passed and they reached the estuary. It seemed impossible for them to cross. Then again, a voice came from behind and said “I can fly my way across the water; I can lift Freya since she weighs lightly.” Freya, knowing that she is now “safe”, agreed cheerfully. But George didn’t feel good about it. Neither did Henry. They want to be part of the search. “We’ll see you on the other side.” The two flew their way to the other part of the dry land. Waving her wings, Henry knew that they made it already—Gina and Freya.

“Henry, will you take me on the other side?” George asked. “ME? Whoa! Why me? I’m just a crab! I can’t do anything.” Henry argued.

 “You are a CRAB. You can swim! Didn’t your mom tell you that?”

“NO. And I never tried. All I did was walk…sideways…and I hate my life.”

“Well, we can try? I can ride on your shell…”

“No way, George. I won’t risk your life! You can’t trust me your…your life… what if we drown? What if we get swallowed by something? NO. no. no.”

“I want to be part of that search, Henry. You know how much this means to me.” George said

Henry, surprised by George’s idea, remained silent with his thoughts “What was he thinking about? ME? Swim? No way!” he argued to himself. Then he saw George walking towards the shore line; he was digging his way to the other end when Henry saw that water was rushing towards the hole so he ran (sideways) as fast as he could towards the mole and pulled him up. “Okay, let’s try swimming… just don’t get yourself killed!” Henry said. George smiled and said “I knew you won’t let me down.”

So George made his way to Henry’s shell and balanced himself. On three, they were already paddling their way across the estuary; and before they know it, they are on dry land. “Hurray! You made it!” shouted Gina and Freya as they meet up with the other two. George gave Henry a pat on the shell and said “You did great, agent.” And they went on in search for the gem. Henry felt something inside of him; he felt proud. He discovered that he can swim. He is silently cheering for himself; it kept him going feeling all good that he was able to help.  And so, Gina was back in the air, George underground, Freya on lead and Henry by the rear.

Time passed and they were hungry, they scouted for food. It was easier for Gina to find food from trees. She pecked on fruit stems and her friends would catch it from below. Henry packed his shell with enough food to keep them full on their travel. After eating, Freya took a good look at their map and pointed out directions. Of course, the other agents took her lead. They were on their places as they took off and searched again. This time, Freya was humming a tune with a marching beat.

George popped his head up and asked for Freya. Henry looked for Freya but she is out of sight. He called out to Gina and was told that she did not notice her either. “HELP!!!” Freya screamed. A little wild cat caught her by the tail. George and Gina froze and watch in terror as the cat played with Freya like a child plays with food. “Not a movement from you! One step forward and I will kill her” said the cat. Henry slowly side stepped his way towards the bushes, silently and swiftly like a real spy. He made it to the cat’s tail and looked at is pincers as though they were talking to each other “make me proud, “ he said.

SNAP! And Freya was up in the air, Gina quickly flew and caught her by the claws and led her to safety. Henry’s claws still clipped on the cat’s tail like a rodeo on the back of the bull. He let go of the tail, George caught him by his flabby stomach and the cat was nowhere to be found. Another victory for the team! And they went on cheering and cheering for themselves.

 “Henry, Thank you for saving me.”

“I did what I should…that’s what friends do…”

“That was really brave of you” Gina interrupted.

“I didn’t know these pincers will come in handy.”

They all laughed and went on with their journey. After few turns there it was, at the top of the waterfalls, trapped in a hole was the gem—The Gem of Wakalooloo. Freya was afraid of heights, so they tasked Gina to retrieve the gem since she is a flyer. Gina flew confidently and swayed with the wind on her way to salvage the gem. The three watched in amazement hoping to see the gem. Gina landed on the hole. It was dark really dark. She stayed there trying to fight her fear of darkness. All she could see was the tiny light that the gem illuminates but it comes and goes.

George noticed that it was really taking a long time for Gina to get the gem. He can’t dig his way up and because of his weight; the steep mountain was hard for him to climb. Henry knew he can climb his way up. He is used to climbing steep mountains since he walks at the tip of his feet—like tip-toeing. So he volunteered to go and help Gina out in retrieving the gem. 

He made it easily at the top, and soon found out Gina crying. She felt useless because she can’t be as brave as Henry. Henry was caught is surprise, he did not know that he is seen to be brave by somebody whom he looked up to.  Also, he was taken aback knowing that Gina is afraid of the dark since he always assumed that Gina is the best agent there is because she can do anything. Henry realized that everyone has a weakness. Setting aside his thoughts, he told Gina that they’d retrieve the gem together. He led the way and not long enough, they saw the gem. It shines as bright as they could ever imagine. The feeling of success gushed through their veins. They were more than happy. They used the gem to light their way back out of the hole and they made their way down the mountain.

 Gina held the gem with her claws. Freya and George watched in amazement with their mouths wide open.

As the four of them gathered closely, the gem in their possession, they can’t take their eyes off it.

“WOW! It’s so shiny…” said George

“AMAZING! The colors change as the light touches it…” Freya added

“We found it. It’s really beautiful….” Gina in her admiration

“I love it.” Henry claimed

The four friends made their way home, walking together, side-stepping. They laughed altogether.

There are a lot of Henry’s in this world. Henry felt as if he was cursed with the side stepping manner of walking instead of the usual. He focused on that “weakness” as he claimed it to be. He made his weakness get into him, making him feel worthless.

We all have weaknesses. How we acknowledge this is the real challenge. These weaknesses can turn to strengths if only we give it a shot...If we give it a try…if we are placed in a life threatening situation.

Let not a mere weakness hinder us from reaching our own “Gem of Wakalooloo”. May we all turn our weaknesses into strengths—and dreams to reality.