i.wait

I am thinking about my soldier. It’s raining and it’s cold here. I lay on my belly facing the laptop that my mom left us with. I listen to the songs on my playlist.  I think about him. I wonder how he’s doing out there in the mountains; conquering rebel camps, crossing enemy lines, sleepless nights, starvation, surviving, or even the thought of death. My heart weeps at the thought of losing him. However, I must remain strong and optimistic. All is well—he assures me.

I am thinking about my soldier. The one who I spent few days with; shared laughter, had moments of discussing dreams, and the like. I knew he has a good soul for he’s a gentleman. Though I knew him for only a short period, I feel like I know much already.

I am thinking about my soldier; that soldier who so bravely confessed his feelings at the moment I did not expect. On that first night, he loudly claims that he loves me and wants me to be his. Though I was caught in a rush, he gave me time to think and respected every word I say. He listened to my arguments and would sweetly rebut if he feels like doing so.

I am thinking about my soldier; the soldier who broke his SIM card and threw it in the sea. Seeing that he triggered my anger, he boldly got rid of his SIM just to prove his honesty and win back my trust. He almost cried—in my presence. It was humiliating yet I felt the opposite. I must say, he really made a scene there; and I will forever remember.

I am thinking about my soldier. He carried me on his back. I felt like a kid again and he allowed me. His eyes were hypnotic, smile—captivating, lips were innocent, and body—warm. He is strong yet gentle in every way. He loves to take pictures. He seizes every moment he could. He is funny and lovable.

I am thinking about my soldier. He left me and I guess he took my heart with him. He faces a battle that cost his life—and mine. My heart is with him. Days were filled with worries and tears as I think about him. He calls and would reply to my messages ASAP. He knows that I love to hear from him; so he gives his best to bring me love and happiness.

I am thinking about my soldier; it is never easy. I had my share for shedding tears and it is painful. I feel heavy whenever I worry. Though he assures me that he is safe, I still die inside at the thought of him—risking his life. Only his voice could calm me down, of course, prayers help indeed. Messages would come and go due to communication constraints.

I am thinking about my soldier. I love him. I miss him. I long for him. I know we shall see each other soon. I will make memories with him once again. It’s never easy to love a soldier but I love one and am being loved by the same. I wish we could forever be together. But until that wish comes true, all I can do is write five words for a beginning and continue collecting memories. I shall write this way until I can no longer remember.

I am thinking about my soldier… J

JAN 4, 2011 9:48pm KEA775